For a long time, I thought the goal was simply to get over my divorce and move on.

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I wanted to feel better. I wanted the loneliness to stop. I wanted to feel confident

again and stop thinking so much about what had happened.

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It took years to realise that moving forward wasn't just about having a

new partner or a new home. I had to understand what was happening

underneath it all.

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Divorce can shake up far more than your relationship. It can change how

you see yourself, how you relate to other people, what you believe you

need from them, and what you think your life is supposed to look like.

I had to take a much more honest look at myself than I had expected to.

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I started noticing patterns in the way I thought and behaved that I hadn't really

seen before. I had blind spots. I had ways of dealing with difficult feelings that kept

me stuck. I had to question some of the things I believed about myself, relationships

and what it meant to be okay.

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Some of that was extremely uncomfortable. 

 

There were times when it would have been much easier to find something outside myself to make me feel better. Another relationship. Another person. A change in circumstances. Anything that might take away the loneliness or uncertainty for a while.

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But none of those things could do the work for me.

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I had to learn how to be on my own without constantly trying to escape it. I had to sit with feelings I didn't particularly want to feel. I had to become more honest about what I wanted, what I was afraid of, and what I was doing that wasn't helping me.

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I've sat in that stillness. I've faced myself. And I've come out the other side.

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That doesn't mean everything is perfect. It doesn't mean I never have difficult days or moments when old patterns show up.

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What has changed is that I know myself much better. I trust myself more. I make different choices. And my life feels like something I have built, rather than something that simply happened to me.

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That experience is what eventually led me to coaching.

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I know what it is like to look like you're doing fine while privately wondering why you still don't feel like yourself. I know what it's like to think you should be further along by now, and to wonder whether something is wrong with you because you're still struggling.

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There's nothing wrong with you. 

Sometimes there is simply more to work through than the practical business of getting divorced.

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This is the part of divorce recovery that interests me most.

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The part where the immediate crisis has passed, but you are left asking, Now what? Who am I now? What do I actually want? Why am I still feeling this way? What keeps pulling me back into the same patterns? And what would it look like to build a life that doesn't depend on having another person in it to make me feel okay?

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That is the work I do with my clients.

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I don't tell women what their next chapter should look like. I don't believe you need to rush into dating, find someone new, or reinvent your entire life just because your marriage has ended.

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Instead, I help women slow down enough to understand themselves properly.

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We look at what is keeping them stuck. We uncover patterns and blind spots. We get honest about the emotions underneath the surface, including the ones that are uncomfortable to face. And we work out what needs to change so they can start making decisions from a clearer, more grounded place.

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I've been through this process myself, which is a big part of why this work matters so much to me.

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I know how hard it can be to stop looking for the thing that will make you feel better and start looking at what is actually going on inside you.

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And I also know that there is a life on the other side of that work.

Not a perfect life. Not a life without loneliness, disappointment or difficult days.

A life that feels purposeful and joyful again, despite the pain of the past.

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